I used to hate being alone. I couldn’t even go to a public bathroom without my squad, so moving into my very own apartment was obviously a huge step for me. While I’ve had some good experiences with roomies, I knew for a fact that I wanted my personal twerk cave in Las Vegas. When I first moved to the city I lived with my family for about four months (so gracious for them). This helped me to save up enough money to move into my perfect spot. Little did I know that the journey in a new place would not only come with freedom but a true test of facing myself for the first time.
After the fake smiles at work end and “I’m great” conversations to my mom ceased, I realized that I was truly alone. And it was freakin hard. I had to learn how to fall in love with me in a very lonely season of my life and this time, I didn’t have other people to distract me.I had to learn how to fall in love with me in a very lonely season of my life Click To Tweet
If you are looking to get your own spot or just moved in, here are the up and down emotions I felt after getting my first apartment. Some good, some bad but all worth it.
You got the keys, the keys, the keys. Signing the dotted line and walking into your bare bones apartment for the first time will have you feeling like a million zillion bucks. Before the bills, before the millions of people who may ask to crash at your place, this is the first time that I realized I was adulting to the max. I was so proud that I actually did it without any help.
Tip: Get organized NOW. I had bills and papers all over the place and even missed a few utility due dates. Make a budget and continue to check it often to make sure you are on track. Oh, and STAY AWAY FROM IKEA.
So after the excitement settles, living alone can be one of the SCARIEST feelings ever. You realize that this is the first time you haven’t had to share your space with anyone and the quietness leaves your mind wandering on all sorts of things. Not gonna lie, the first few nights I checked behind my shower and in closets. I thought I heard stuff. I even put a knife under my bed (Too much? I wasn’t playing games with these people).
Tip: Always be aware of your surroundings, especially at night. And if you are that scared, sleep with a light on until you can get comfortable with living in a new environment by yourself. The silence can really bring negative thoughts that will try to distract you. Keep yourself filled with positive messages and an extra dose of the Lord’s Prayer.
So the fear has settled and it hits you…you are free to do anything you want, any time. This newfound freedom comes with a lot of dancing in the mirror, walking around without clothes on and an on top of the moon feeling that you don’t have to answer to anyone.
Tip: Besides practicing your Beyonce moves for the next function, start working on finding a passion you can pursue. I really used the alone time to focus and dedicate time to growth. I didn’t load junk in my pantry and got on a dedicated morning schedule. Having the space to dictate how I wanted to be influenced helped me grow in ways I definitely couldn’t at home.
Having the space to dictate how I wanted to be influenced helped me grow Click To Tweet
Many times you may have to call Jesus on the main line about your apartment. Because I made the decision to live on my own, that also meant I was completely responsible for when bills got behind and if things broke. Not to mention unforeseen circumstances like creepy neighbors and full blown breakup arguments in the middle of the night (I recorded mine on Snapchat because I’m petty). I definitely had many mental breakdowns and doubted if I was truly ready to take on the many responsibilities of living alone. I was used to my mom taking care of those adult things and it forced me to grown up and in a hurry.
Tip: Stay on top of everything and find people you can talk to when you get overwhelmed. Also form a positive relationship with the staff so that when problems do arise, they can be taken care of fast.
This month I will be moving out of my first apartment as an adult and it’s such a bittersweet feeling. Not only did I learn to appreciate growing up and getting my ish together, I got some unforgettable alone time to think, face some hard fears and love myself more than I ever have. My apartment became one of my ultimate bffs. The walls hold my prayers, my dreams, my sleepless nights and most enjoyable conversations. Oftentimes, it is very hard for people to sit quiet and be alone with themselves. Living alone is not easy but can really be the haven you need to get serious about who you want to be.
Now I love being alone! Not because I’m an introvert but because I genuinely love being with myself. So don’e be afraid for this huge step, it’s going to be so worth it.