My health journey is a struggle. This weekend, I did not give one rat’s care in the world about my eating and stuffed my face uncontrollably. Sitting in my guilt, I decided to have one last “glory” meal at Panda Express before I got back to business with my routine. I opened the steaming box, cracked my fortune cookie and dived in. But you know what? I didn’t really enjoy it. I mean it was good and all but it definitely wasn’t great. Average at best. I knew it wasn’t going to fulfill me and do my body good but yet I decided to eat it anyway. I felt worse than when I started actually and I began to think…this  is what settling in relationships feel like.

Did she just compare relationships to a Panda box? Yep. Sure did. What do you do when you are giving your time to someone who isn’t utter trash but not what you need?

dating confused

Don’t worry, I’ve struggled with that question too. I’ve found myself in a lot of unfulfilled situations because of my desire to be loved. I wanted guys to finally notice me and see that potential in me I knew was there. So in efforts to jump ahead of God (oh how we love to do that), this left me running to average guys. They kinda, sort of had their life together. And in my rush to make things work, I overlooked blatant signs of boy bye because I convinced myself that they weren’t THAT bad.

Can I let you in on something? You were made to be more than average (you know that’s my motto) and that includes the guy you give your time to. As we get older we see everyone around us getting married and having kids. Internally we feel an obligation to make that happen for ourselves instead of continuing to work on our own dreams and goals until the time is right.We waste time on average guys who don’t fulfill us. Motivate us. Set the bar high. So if you are struggling with #wasteyourtime2016, here are three signs to tell  if he’s Mr. Not Right For You:

Your Gut Is Telling You No, But Your Impatience is Telling You Yes

Deep down we know when we are unfulfilled. Just like that Panda box, I tried to convince myself that I deserved to be happy. But I knew that food wasn’t nourishing me. Although I couldn’t see the damage right now, if I kept feeding myself junk it would leave lasting negative effects on my life. Through past experiences I have learned that my gut is always right. I knew I deserved better than what I was settling for but I was afraid that the best would never come. Stop being “realistic” and impatient and start believing that everything you ever imagined can happen.

Deep down we know when we are unfulfilled. Click To Tweet

You Don’t Feel Challenged

He has most of the qualities an “ideal” guy should have. You know, nice and not the spawn of satan. Contrary to popular belief, I think it’s perfectly okay to pass these types up. If you are not attracted to him and if he doesn’t challenge you to grow in your life then you are doing both of you a disservice. He may be a great guy but just not the one for you. Don’t feel obligated to stick it out because of history or what your mama said. Look at your values and goals and make sure he is pushing you toward them and not away. If not, chunk deuce.

Average dating

You Can’t Be Your True Self

I think this is so important. You shouldn’t have to hide parts of you to appease someone else. If you feel like you are changing or veering off from your morals then take a step back and analyze if the situation worth continuing. A lot of times we hold back on who we are to have a warm body to lay next to. You deserve someone better than that. Someone who can stimulate your mind and you can’t be free with.

You shouldn't have to hide parts of you to appease someone else. Click To Tweet

We sell ourselves short because we settle for good enough and not great. A lot of times we don’t even believe great is out there or “happens” to us. It’s time to set some no takeback, no budging boundaries. This will  create a foundation to go back to when things start getting more serious with someone. It’s like a blueprint for your dating life so you won’t get emotionally invested with someone who isn’t meant for you. You deserve the best and if you aren’t getting that, then take a step back and enjoy yourself in the meantime. And when you get in your feelings read this. You got this and I got ‘cha back boo.