“I’m sitting in the banks of St. Tropez, sipping on a White Russian cocktail in my lush Armani fur coat. I’ve already gotten ethnic judgmental looks from the other guests during this Insta-perfect resort stay. But little do they know that I have already stolen and memorized their pin numbers to pay for this trip. Gotta be quicker than that peasants. Chat later.”
Minus the scamming (because I can’t bail you out of jail), what would life be like if we lived a confident, Caucasian lifestyle like the infamous Joanne Prada? Now before you give me your glares, “the Caucasian life” doesn’t represent a literal white person’s living situation. In my opinion, it’s a mindset. It’s defeating low expectations and knowing what you’re worth. It’s enjoying the things you have dreamed of and not ever apologizing for it.
It’s everything we secretly desire but have talked ourselves out of. But because of life’s mishaps we have stopped fighting and putting in real effort. We have even exchanged hope in our future for envy as we watch others “pass us by.”
OH DON’T ACT LIKE I’M THE ONLY ONE.
I have good news though. Your destiny is already out there. There wouldn’t be this constant pull of “what ifs” if you were made to be mediocre. The true key to defeating low expectations is belief.
Let me give you an example —
To this day, Benjamin Franklin is praised for bringing electricity all across the world. But the gag is…electricity was always there. It just needed a person with faith and persistence to find it. It wasn’t until he believed it was possible that he discovered it and literally change the way society functions.
Imagine that. Your business, your amazing job, your boo thang is already out there. You just have to have to have enough patience, persistence and faith that it will be revealed to you.
For those who didn’t hear me in the back – YOU HAVE TO HAVE ENOUGH PATIENCE, PERSISTENCE AND FAITH. All this time you have just been aiming too low. It’s time to redirect your bow and arrow.
Below are four amazing ways to stop with the excuses on why you can’t have what God already promised you. Now it’s going to make you super uncomfortable but if you dedicate this year to living in BIG expectations, I promise you won’t ever be the same. Honestly, truly.
Now come on in.
Can you get out of your way, already?
You are one special cookie. You traveled through millions of sperm cells (stay with me), overcame teasing in the lunch room, Lemonaded through your toughest heartbreak, sought a college degree, balanced life’s unexpectencies, and all while slaying us on a regular.
You’re dope. I want to be your friend.
[Wait…can I seriously be your friend though? Sign up below for the best emails you will ever receive so we can laugh at our hotmesses together]
If you have overcome all those trials, why in God’s name are you still getting in your own way? I hate to break it to you but no one can be blamed for you being stagnant. YOU are the one blocking your elevation.
In order to break free from this there are a few things you must do –
- Forgive yourself for past mistakes: You first have to own that you had a huge part in the mistakes you made in your life. Many times we put the blame on others for the way we are, when in reality we allowed them to hurt us. By taking ownership, we are taking back our power to change from who we were to who we know we can be. (I also wrote a fabulous post on bouncing back after hard times here)
- Forgive others: You can not be in a position to receive more when your hand is clenched. Holding on to what people did to you is harboring bitterness and an unclear mind can’t focus on success. Understand that the person who hurt you is viewing life through their very broken places. Seeing them as broken people and not who we wanted them to be will set you free of those chains.
- Choose peace always and do it anyway: This is such a simple lesson but so hard to master. Instead of stressing about how things will work out, choose what makes you happy. Following your gut will keep you winning. By the way, I don’t care if it’s hard. I don’t care if it’s going to cost you your Love and Hip Hop time. Stop wasting time on things that don’t matter and give your energy to what does.
And for the small-minded people trying to get all in your space?
Life is Only What You Visualize
Cruisin down the street in my ’64.
Well no I don’t have one but when I get these coins I just might.
You see raising my expectations meant dreaming things that most people would deem impossible. So many times we get frustrated with life, not realizing it is only giving back what we have given it.
What have you given life to?
A fake version of you?
Realize that what you put into the world is what it will manifest. If you kinda, sorta get to your dream sometimes then life will kinda, sorta get back to you. There are no handouts on this road to being poppin. You have to speak it and believe it.
No one does this better than Big Sean. I want to share this video with you to show you how his mindset and his focus determined his life.
So how does what you focus on make you feel? Write down your a perfect day in your future life and read it every night.
Yes, New Friends (Drake lied to you)
I used to yell no new friends into the mountain tops. I’m sure Jesus could hear me. There is something transformational about getting in a room with people you aspire to be like.
When you start inserting yourself in new circles it challenges you to step your game up. Your expectations will soar because you will begin to adapt habits successful people are already using. Now don’t get me wrong, I truly love my Day 1 friends. But none of them are millionaires, running a business or fully functioning in their dream. Although we can enjoy the struggle together, I need someone whose footsteps I can already track.
There is nothing worse than a group of friends who are stagnant together. If you study the paths of successful people they will say that they had to insert themselves into new circles that would challenge them to grow.
I really challenge you to get apart of groups that challenge your thinking. Ideas could be:
- Meetups – Look for things you are interested in and go from there
- Young Professional groups – I recently attended my first Toastmasters group that I found through my local Young Professionals group
- Conferences -Intentional travel is the best travel. From self-help to fitness, attend a conference that attracts people who want to succeed
- New classes – Take a cooking class, art class or anything in between
- Facebook Groups – This is a great way to talk to different people Some of my favorites right now are Act Like a Success (Uncle Steve) and Blog + Biz BFFs by Melyssa Griffin.
- Membership Groups – Also an amazing way to meet inspiring people. Some may be paid but the value is unforgettable. Look at BossBabe and Breathe University.
Self-Love is the Best Love
Finally, love yourself dangit.
Give the world your amazing energy so that it can give it back to you. When we focus solely on all the things we lack, we rob the world on our insanely awesome gifts. I know that deep down you want to be a professional dancer or an award-winning 2nd grade teacher. Give yourself that freedom.
One of the biggest things I used to to say to myself (okay you caught me, I just said this last week) was “they already did it so I can’t be successful at it.”
But Satan and all his little friends know that’s a lie. Rebuke it. REBUKE IT NOW.
Every industry is saturated with a million and one people trying to dominate. What separated the Beyonces, Michelle Obamas, Apples and other top brands was their expectations and daily self talk. They pushed past fears with their words. Their words turned into belief. So if we are going to run the world someday then we must do the same.
You can watch your self-talk by learning to praise yourself. Every night I write down my wins for the day. It doesn’t matter what bad thing happened, I celebrate myself. This is developing the habit to breathe life into myself when no one is watching but God.
Also, get in dialogue with God. Start being grateful for the things you have, even when you want more. Tell God your fears and your visions. This open dialogue will build trust in Him and confidence to keep going.
So…that’s that. Let’s stop living average and put in this work this year. What expectations do you have in 2017? Tell me in the comments!
Alaina Nicole <3