Every day we are bombarded with social media that claims we have to have a body like Beyonce, pouch our lips like Kylie, floss like Rick Ross, and be bold like Kanye. Instead of actually working on ourselves and our relationships, we are working on the filter for our perfectly posed picture. I do it too. And it’s tiring because deep down you know you aren’t actually happy with the life you portray.

I never realized how much social media consumes us until one particular weekend in Vegas. As you can imagine, weekends in Las Vegas are a true shenanigans show. For some extra coins, I help out my college friends who own a club crawl here. From my duties of pouring drinks, entertaining guests and walking them around The Strip, I’ve picked up a very common theme – this city is the capital of pretending like you got it. So I shouldn’t have been shocked at how this girl went out of her way to fake a good time one particular night. I knew she wanted to be wrapped in a Snuggie somewhere, watching Scandal. (hell, I did too) But instead, she would lip-sync to music on Snapchat only to sit in boredom again after those 10 seconds were up.

We do this over and over again on social media and it’s sad.

I know you’ve seen this status: “Just me and my king” *breaks up two days later

Aren’t you sick of living a life through a lens that you can’t measure up to in real life? I think that social media is great but it severely hurts us when we are so caught up in creating the story that we forget to live it.The secret to happiness is admitting that we aren’t okay. I don’t know about you but I was TIRED of pretending to portray someone I knew I wasn’t actually living out.

faking it on social media

You know how much you could shake the world if you actually committed to living a happy life vs. pretending? Here’s what I’m learning:

Take The Filter Off Your Flaws

It’s time to love the flaws we can’t change and change the ones we can. I’ve always had a huge insecurity about my body and best believe I perfected the pose of sucking in the gut and poking out the butt. I even stopped giving a full smile because I was ashamed of the gap I let form between my teeth. Some of these insecurities stemmed from hating that I let myself go and another huge part was because of the hurtful words people have thrown at me.

But I’ve learned that there is nothing more powerful than the mind. YOU have to decide that you’re beautiful. You have to decide that with or without that contour kit you’re poppin’. No likes or views on Snapchat will change how you feel about yourself, it will only make you more dependent on what other’s say vs. what you need to believe.

Deal With Your God-Awful Toxic Relationships

Look. People influence us in so many ways whether we want them to or not. I know you’re tired of those toxic relationships because I’m tired of watching you go through them. How can you be all you were made to be when you have this dead weight pulling at your insecurities? Oh that’s right, YOU CAN’T. We stay in such bad situations because of:

  • Co-Dependence
  • Afraid we can’t attract anyone else
  • The fear of being alone
  • The fear of starting over
  • Rejection
  • Comfort

Do any of these resonate with you? If you want to grow and get to the next level in your life then you have to accept that some people just can’t come with you.

Exercise: Make a list of people that bring out any emotions I listed above. Take some time this week to really think about why they are still in your life.

Build a Passion, Not a Snapchat Story

We waste so much time. Have you ever got lost in Twitter or Facebook only to realize an hour has passed already? We fill our lives with all these meaningless things that we neglect the process of building up the stamina to get our coins. Sis(or breh), you’re muscles are weak. It’s why you can’t commit to anything. It’s why you’re inconsistent and can’t get clear about your purpose. You have to remove the clutter, get quiet and see where your heart leads you. What we do in our 20s will absolutely affect how we are for the rest of our lives. Who do you want to be?

You’re not happy because you’re not passionate and committed to anything. It’s time to stop the dramatics, stop the busyness and find out.

You have to remove the clutter, get quiet and see where your heart leads you. Click To Tweet

Worry About Your Own Withering Grass

So many people look at their friends social posts and compare their everyday life to a 10 second one. I can’t tell you how many people tell me I’m “living the dream” and I’m “always having fun.” While I do have some amazing moments in Las Vegas, I’m also a proud self-proclaimed granny. You don’t see how routine my life actually is (although I’m trying to show more of my hotmessness in real time).

Remember that people are only showing you what they want you to see. It’s like when the preview to a movie seems so legit but the movie turns out poop. Yea…that’s the people you follow. Whether stepping away from social for a second or talking to a positive person, you have to find ways to make YOUR life the best it can be.

You have to find ways to make YOUR life the best it can be. Click To Tweet

Most importantly, live in the moment. This week I challenge you to find ways to do something different and find out more about yourself.

You will be so surprised of the life you can create when you stop paying attention to everyone else’s. You’re too dope for that.


Alaina Nicole <3

Make sure to sign up for my email list for even more inspiration and tips below!