I’ve Outgrown Myself
I can hear the loud music from the line outside while I stand in a huge crowd of anticipated college kids. “Keep it moving!” yells the guy at the door as he quickly tries to get everyone inside the already crowded bar. You see this was my first time back at my school, Texas State, in awhile and I was right back in all the action of The Square – the infamous social hub for cheap Long Islands, drunk jaywalking and running into old flings and new things. It was a true highlight for me and my friends in college but for some reason I wasn’t getting that excited and turnt up feeling like I used to. I looked cute though. *twirls*
I walk into a bar with my sorority sisters and run into many people I graduated with and also students that were probably freshmen when I was a senior. YOU’RE at The Square? You’re 21 already? Geez throw me an Over the Hill party already. I watched as they got hype to the music. They swayed, they twerked, they even rolled up a cutie or two. I watched all these people having an amazing time, did my default Milly Rock dance (I do that to pretty much everything nowadays. Even Taylor Swift, I promise) but all I could think about was…my bed.
Who is this person I’ve become?
I used to be the life of the party who could NEVER miss where the action was. Even when I first graduated I always loved coming back to Texas State to share drinks, see everyone I used to kick it with and fake at how well I was doing in life. But this night was different and I honestly didn’t care about that at all. Over the past year I’ve definitely become a self-proclaimed granny and Nana Laina would have rather been watching Netflix, sipping on some sweet red wine or trying a new dish at a restaurant I found on Yelp.
Partying and having a good time is fun but I think that with age comes the realization that there are so many other things to experience. You begin to stop numbing your life with alcohol, cheap thrills and superficial compliments and start trying to live for yourself and do things you actually want to do.
So many times we try to keep up with what others may be doing because we are afraid to let that part of us go or feel like we are missing out. I know you know that ONE person that still comes to every single event on campus and dates the younger students. DON’T BE THAT PERSON. Growing up is scary but it’s also a chance for you to embrace change and things that truly make you happy. So while I enjoy going out every once and awhile I realized that I could also have fun doing new things with different kinds of people. I truly loved and enjoyed my life in college but I realized this past weekend that it’s okay to leave that behind and figure out who I will be in the next stage. I’ve outgrown who I used to be and I’m at peace with that.
Don’t be afraid to let go of who you were in the past. Change is good and you are too dope to stay in that same mindset. Be excited about the growth and buy a couple extra bottles of wine…or three.
Do you feel like you outgrowing who you used to be? How do you deal?