So Snapchat is literally the devil. Okay not quite but it – along with pretty much every social site – can get you a one way ticket to In Your Feelings, USA with no return real fast. This happened to me over the weekend and it was ALL my fault so even as I’m writing this I’m laughing hysterically at the trap I set myself up in.
On Saturday I was casually scrolling the app looking at different stories of my usual friends. Suddenly, HIS story came into view. Now who is he? Just a guy I really liked and we sorta, not really had this thing but one day he went ghost on me and just stopped all communication. We loveee when that happens right? Let’s call him Casper No Friendly and get back to the dilemma So Casper No Friendly’s story suddenly appeared on my feed and instantly my heart started beating. I felt like those movies where the character has the good and bad angel on each side of their shoulder. One of my angels was saying “ALAINA do not open his snap. I repeat do not open his snap because you know it will be bad,” while the other angle whispered “What’s the worst that can happen? Just open it this one time.”
So after much deliberation I quickly clicked it like a bad child touching a stove and…FACKKKK he was on a date! (at least that’s what the first 2.333 seconds of it had me assume which by the way is a bad bad thing to do. NEVER assume people.) Oh why did you do that Alaina? Why did you listen to bad angel when you knew nothing good was coming from it. So there I was sitting on my floor, hair uncombed and in that dreaded place I hated to go…my feelings.
After about 10 minutes of this is the WORST, I’M the WORST, I snapped out of it. What am I doing? That thing we kind of, sort of not had is way over. Isn’t it funny how we set ourselves up to go down memory lane with a past person knowing that good won’t come out of it? Now I’ve had much practice with sabotaging myself but I think I’ve learned a thing or two on how to get back to glow status when the feelings emerge:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – Don’t walk around pretending you don’t care when you secretly do. I feel like this only hinders you in the process of healing from the past because you deny yourself. There were so many feelings I felt after opening his snap including stupidity, rejection and a bit of sadness mixed in there. By allowing myself to sulk for just a second it helped me talk myself through it and OUT of it.
- Know Your Triggers – Look…if you KNOW going on their Instagram is going to set off those feelings of loneliness then do yourself a favor and don’t go there. And while we are at it go ahead and delete those text messages in your phone so you will stop reading them over and over trying to magically make that old thing happen again. These types of habits keep us stuck and unable to move forward with our future and for sure a future with someone else. Even if you have to be extreme and block a number or two, do whatever you have to do to keep your mind positive.
- Keep Your True Friends CLOSE – When you start to miss a person or begin to feel like you weren’t good enough or whatever feeling you may go through immediately call or text a good friend. Good friends make us laugh and they also help us think rationally about the situation. Was Casper No Friendly still fine? Um heck yea. Is my love life still nonexistent? You betcha. But remembering the feelings of rejection are easier to work through when you have someone to walk through it with you.
- Remind Yourself That Feelings are NOT Facts – When someone has moved on we seem to instantly compare ourselves to that new person. I automatically started to do this and had to stop myself. If feelings like that emerge stop, take a breath and remember that there is someone out there for you who is going to exceed all of your expectations. You may feel awful right now and ready to eat every burger at In – and -Out but the relation/situationship probably ended for your good and blocked you of harm that could have happened later down the road.
- Embrace Yourself Every. Single. Day – You are amazing and that’s already a fact but even on days like this you need a pick me up. Go do something you truly love or watch one of your favorite movies. Take some extra time to do your makeup or even pray but do things that remind you of how awesome you truly are. (Sending hey stranger texts, going on a date with someone you don’t like and getting super wasted need not apply) Things don’t always work out the way we envision but this alone time is perfect to grow and strengthen your abilities to detect when someone isn’t good for you. A lot of times we know a guy/girl isn’t good for us but convince ourselves they are because we don’t believe we can get anyone better. That’s a lie and if you honestly feel that way then this alone time is perfect to put the phone down and work on getting to where you want to be.
It has taken me a really long time to get to a place of confidence and knowing what I bring to the table. I know that there will be more days like this but trusting myself and genuinely loving myself makes them so much easier to get through. Don’t compromise who you are for a warm body or empty words. That old thing ended for a reason so take baby steps each day into becoming who you are destined to be.
And will I open up a Casper No Friendly snapchat escapade again? You bet your bottom dollar I WILL NOT.
#letsglow Because you are sooo worth it.