It’s Valentine’s week and some of you are either planning for dates with bae, crying in your single pillows, living life like it’s Golden (das me), or trying to dodge ya side chicks.
Now I know The Culture doesn’t do relationships very well and most of our examples come from Love & Hip Hop and Cardi B & Offset.
However, when I stopped and smelled the V-day roses I realized that I had so many bomb couples around me.
Like Ally and George.
Meeting at Texas Southern University, their story begins in the most hilarious way (I’ll let them tell it). They’ve been married for almost two years now. (And did I mention they are the cutest Fire & Ice duo, cmonnn)
From their IG videos to seeing them in person, you can tell that the love they share is real. But what’s even greater is their willingness to constantly grow together.
This week I’m bringing you three couples that show that healthy millennial marriages are absolutely possible in our day.
Whether you are single, dating, or recently married, I hope that these interviews bring you hope that real love is still out there and thriving.
Let’s jump right in:
So how did you guys meet?
Ally: Well we have two different stories. For one, it was a mistaken identity. So our freshman year in college I reported this guy at Burger King for bad service. The next day, I saw George in class and thought it was the BK guy. I went up to him and was like ‘I’m sorry I got you fired.’ And George was obviously like what? *laughs* That was our first encounter but our first official meeting was on a fun bus trip three years later to see our school’s football team play. We met through his line brother and clicked over loving the Cowboys.
And it just clicked from there?
A: Yea, his line brother actually said we would get married because we were Cowboys fans. He was joking though, but it worked.
George: Yea, she was already my Facebook friend so I hit her up the next Monday…
A: It was the same night. [I guess this is where the two stories come in? ]
G: No, it wasn’t. I hit her back Monday and we connected.
At what point did you know that this is it?
A: Honestly? Immediately. I knew that I wanted to marry him, I’m not kidding. It was just a feeling I had.
G: Yea, it was immediate.
Did ya’ll do anything to prepare for marriage like classes or counseling?
G: We definitely had pre-marital classes. One of Ally’s friend’s parents are pastors. We did it about a year before we got married. It really helped us. I wasn’t into it at first but looking back on it, that was a great decision. And whenever we would have any troubles we would just refer back to what we learned.
Why were you against it? Like, what made you hesitate?
G: I guess you think that marriage counseling means you have problems. And I just felt like I knew everything and we didn’t have no issues. But you have to learn what your role is.
A: Our biggest lesson was definitely communication.
G: Yea, we learned that boys and girls can say the same exact thing but have two totally different meanings. They call it the pink and blue effect.
Do you think you were in a mindset to be married before you met? Or was it something that matured together?
A: I think it’s both. We both grew together because we’ve been dating since we were 20 and we’re almost 30 now. But we also prepared. I can only speak for myself but my mom pretty much molded me to be someone’s wife since I was a kid. Her favorite thing was ‘Don’t put a sign outside of your yard if it’s not for sale.’ So everything reflected that from how I dressed to my actions. I appreciate that.
G: I have to agree, especially on the part about growing together. We always knew we would be together but we just had to grow and learn each other and go from there.
That’s so good. Were ya’ll the first out of your friends to get married?
Let’s talk about that. How did that change your relationship with your friends? Especially still having single ones, did the dynamic change?
A: To be honest, I tell George all the time that it helped because all his friends are for sure engaged now. They are in these serious relaitonships and I really think we were influential on a positive side. It was amazing.
G: There’s a lot of people that look up to us so I think it helped put marriage into perspective. Like she said, we are almost 30 and you start to see things differently. We still hang out with our friends but they are all respectful and have been with us from the start.
A: I’ve still had to change a little though. I don’t hang with my friends as much as I used to. It just doesn’t look good to be out with your friends every weekend so I’ve pulled back on that. And they respect that.
What would be your best advice be for people single or dating?
A: Date with the intent to marry. Date and if you see red flags in the beginning cut it off and don’t waste your time because a lot of women are caught up in the what-ifs but choose to ignore the signs. Everybody you date is not going to be for you.
G: For dating, don’t act like you’re married when you’re not. Like living together. Don’t put all your eggs in the basket because you won’t have anything to look forward to when you are actually married.
How do you do it the right way because in our society stuff like living together is normal.
A: I would find an older mentor or a married couple. Pick their brains and see. But a couple that has been through some stuff, not five or 10 years. I’m talking about 20-30 years married because we don’t have a lot of examples nowadays.
Lighting round! Leggo:
Our favorite date activity is:
A: Going to the gym.
A question you get tired of hearing:
G: When are we having kids.
This is something college didn’t teach us:
A: Save. Get your credit right.
The dumbest thing we’ve ever argued about:
G: Some soy sauce *laughs* I was playing a game and didn’t want to go to the store to get soy sauce and she got mad.
One misconception about marriage:
A: That it’s perfect and easy and all fun. That was more than one but girl…yes.
G: That you can put a ring on it and nothing will change in your lives.
What I learned from these two was that it’s okay to go against society’s expectations to honor your own morals and values. It’s so important to find someone who is on the same page mentally.
Marriage is more than a pretty photo on IG and I think Ally and George are doing amazing at living that truth and sharing it with others.
Stay tuned because we have another bomb couple tomorrow!