I don’t know about you but I am such a Simon Cowell to my life. I have really high goals for myself (which is not a bad thing) but not meeting my personal expectations can put me in a funk for weeks. Have you ever treated yourself like an annoying step cousin? Full of negativity and bad talk? It often sneaks up so naturally that we don’t even realize we are doing it.

I’m really into this blogging thing and I often visit other pages for inspiration and to see what works for them. One day in particular I discovered a site I REALLY liked. It was amazeballs and the writer had a bajillion followers and comments on her posts. I immediately started to sink into that slump and my negative friend (let’s call her Tiffany) started to speak to me.

Tiffany: See look at her website and all her social media. It’s so much better than yours. Why do you waste your time on doing this anyway, it will never be good enough.


I had to tell Tiffany to back back because I was tired of letting negative thinking affect how I saw myself. I know you want to be great at what you do. I know you want to be that pants size you’ve only dreamed about. But in order to achieve those goals we must realize that our only way to doing that is to love ourselves first. So here are 5 ways to be kinder to yourself when you feel Tiffany creeping in your personal space.

Give Yourself Permission to Fail

I don’t know about you but I’ve been pretty successful my entire life. I’ve always been involved with something without having too put much effort at it. Graduating college and staying unemployed was the first real “failure” I had and boy did I take it STUPID hard. What I realized is that joy and strength comes through your failures. The times that you grew the most were probably through a situation you thought would kill you. You are powerful beyond measure so don’t freak when you mess up. Learn from it and let your victory help others.

Reflect on Your Accomplishments

I know that you haven’t failed at EVERYTHING. Maybe you were great at sports, cut your long hair into a risky short style or of course, graduated from college. You have overcome so many things in life and that’s worth reflecting and celebrating. When you get in a slump go back to all the times that God took care of you and how you came out stronger than ever before. You rock already I know it. You just have to remind yourself sometimes.


Take Care of Your Body

Guys this is seriously SO IMPORTANT. We devote so much time to our goals but not to our health. It took me so many lessons to realize that if you don’t feel good, you won’t think good or give your goals your best. Besides the fact that exercising gives off cray cray happy endorphins, it also boosts self esteem when you look in the mirror and see progress. Give it a try…better yet stick with it. Your actual life depends on it.

Watch/Listen to Inspirational Messages

Often times when I’m down I will listen to sermons or inspirational podcasts/Youtube videos. You have to watch what feeds your mind because that is what you will start to believe. Pump stuff into your system that will inspire you to stop being average and go for what you want.

Pump stuff into your system that will inspire you to stop being average and go for what you want. Click To Tweet

Speak Life Into Yourself

This is probably the most important key. THE key to success. You have to watch how you speak to yourself. Oftentimes I have to catch myself because I’ll say stuff like “yea, you know I’m poor,” or “he’s too fine to like girls like me.” There is so much life in your tongue and what you speak is what will be. So instead of saying “Ugh I’m so fat today and my life sucks,” find things to be grateful for and pump yourself up about why you’re awesome.


BONUS: Do something special

TREAT YO SELF. Go on a trip or buy a new dress. Find out what truly makes you happy and do that ish all the time. Unless it’s stuffing your mouth with pizza everyday…don’t do that.

You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You will shake this world like no one has before. So stop being hard on yourself, you’re worth your dreams and happiness.


Alaina Nicole